About
Victoria David
MA, BACP (Accred)
Hello, I’m Victoria. I’m a mother and a deep-thinking introvert with a sense of humour. I’m also a recovering perfectionist but not the kind who colour-codes her life or achieves flawless results, but the kind who quietly carries impossibly high expectations and feels like a failure when she falls short of them.
I discovered that a core belief of ‘I am not good enough’ was at the root of my perfectionism. I carried this belief with me into motherhood which, together with the messages I grew up with and I was surrounded by about what a ‘good mother’ looks, sounds and acts like, drove me to try and live up to unrealistic expectations. I see similar patterns in the mothers I work with even though their stories are different to mine.
At the time I didn’t realise they were unrealistic expectations but just what I should be doing. I now know with the benefit of knowledge and experience that what is normalised and expected of mothers in our society is unrealistic and unsustainable.
I work with mothers who feel overwhelmed by the endless expectations of motherhood. They’re doing everything they can to be the best mum they can be but they never feel like it’s enough. They’re caught in a relentless cycle of striving to be perfect, falling short (because perfection isn’t possible), feeling like a failure, then trying even harder to get it ‘right’ next time. I know from my own experience of this (which will be different to yours) how exhausting going round and round this cycle is.
I also know how scary it can be to let go of perfectionism and care less about what people think.
Through my own therapy I have developed the resources to quieten my inner critic and embrace my humanness. I am not totally free from perfectionism but I have got pretty good at getting back on track when it starts to take over. I have found that the more I turn away from the need to be perfect the happier and healthier I feel.
I love helping mums realise that they are not failures and to let go of striving for the impossible so that they get to enjoy being a mother and engage in life as women in their own right.
Let’s Talk!
If you have had enough of going round and round the cycle of perfectionism, failure and overwhelm and you want to reclaim your experience of motherhood to let in more joy reach out to me today to set up an initial session.
Qualifications and Experience
I have been working with clients since 2012. Over the years I have worked with children, teenagers and adults and in 2023 I decided to focus on supporting mothers.
Through my work and from my own motherhood experience I recognised how important it is to support mothers not only because of how they affect their children but because mothers are whole human beings and they matter in and of themselves.
I have a Master’s Degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy (Minster Centre London).
I am a certified Motherhood Studies Practitioner – Dr. Sophie Brock (Motherhood Studies Sociologist).
I am an accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).